Nipples and fridges...

Seven nipples, to be precise. Unless Bailey's hiding one behind her ear or deep in an oxter, and we've looked hard, that's her full tally. There appears to be one missing on her left-hand side.

Seven strikes me as a weird number of nipples. Why not six, or eight, or any even number? So I looked it up on Yahoo Answers and discovered that  it's perfectly normal, or at least not abnormal, to have an odd number of nips.

Well, that's if you can believe anything you read in there. Pesky user-generated content has a habit of delivering googlies. In response to the question "How many nipples does you dog have?" the official best answer, as voted for by readers (well, one reader, which is all it took to win) is:

"I don't have a dog! I have a bird and it hasn't nipples."

Anyway, it's moot. She won't be needing them because she's due to be neutered in February and shall remain pupless forever. I'm a bit sorry about this, to be honest (not least cos Golden Retriever pups retail at £600), but Mrs M is adamant. If you'd like to change her mind, kindly email your thoughts to her here .

This apparent mercenary streak in me recalls an exchange on an email list where I sort of discussed dogs in terms of products sold by one party to another with certain responsibilities encumbent upon both, including the right to a refund if a new pup had problems that weren't evident at the time of purchase (potentially very expensive problems). I managed to upset the breeder with very clumsy language when I raised this question - entirely my own fault and a lesson learned - but it provoked this furious reply from a list member:

"Kyle, surely you are joking. If not, I am gobsmacked that someone should equate buying a living creature with a fridge. And what you have expected to have happened to the animal - sorry, 'product' - if it hadn't been perfect enough for you and you had got your refund, Kyle?  The breeder's response wasn't an over-reaction; he understood perfectly what you meant and he was right to see you as unfit to own an animal. It's just a shame he changed his mind."

I'm not sure that Bailey would agree that I'm unfit to own her, soppy devoted sap that I am, but hey, she just might.

UPDATE: Bailey has started a Facebook group here called How many nipples does your dog have? Do boy dogs have nipples too?